Delectable Desire Read online

  When she looked up at him, her eyes were filled with so much pain it nearly brought him to his knees.

  “You promised you wouldn’t turn out to be like all the rest,” she accused in a quiet, hurt-filled voice. “You said you wouldn’t hurt me.”

  “Don’t blame me for this. I didn’t do this. You did. Your mother did.” Carter tipped his head up to the sky and let out a mirthless laugh. “When I think about what I had planned to discuss tonight...” When he returned his gaze to Lorraine’s pained expression, he couldn’t summon a bit of remorse. “I guess this means I’m taking that job in New York. Thanks for making the decision easy for me.”

  He turned and stalked away from her.

  Chapter 15

  Lorraine stared unseeingly out the window of her loft. Her brain registered only the muted colors of the outside world, which were dulled even more by the overcast sky. When her gaze came into focus, it homed in on several beads of rain trailing down the pane of glass.

  Lorraine quickly averted her eyes. The rain reminded her too much of the tears that had been rolling down her face for the past two days.

  She backed away from the window, running her hands up and down her arms in an attempt to ward off the chill in her bones that she couldn’t seem to get rid of. She trudged over to the bed, her limbs heavy with the weight of her conflicted emotions.

  She didn’t know what to think anymore. She didn’t know whom to believe. Although she had been appalled at her mother’s methods, Lorraine had no doubt that her mother had had her best interest at heart. No, that wasn’t true. Abigail had had the interest of the Hawthorne-Hayes family name at heart. Nevertheless, her actions were explainable.

  Carter’s, on the other hand, were not.

  She had been swept up in the fantasy of his attention these past three weeks, yet Lorraine couldn’t deny the pesky feelings of doubt that had crept into her mind on several occasions. He’d seemed too good to be true. Now she knew why.

  Or did she?

  Was it all one big coincidence? Was there a possibility that Carter had had no idea that the man who had blackmailed her family was the same man who had belonged to his fraternity?

  Lorraine closed her eyes, trying to recall his face at dinner the other night when he’d looked at the photograph. She’d kept her eyes on his face, hoping to catch any glimpse of recognition. She’d been waiting for that flash of guilt. But there had been none. Did that mean he really didn’t know Broderick, or that Carter Drayson was a compelling actor?

  She curled up on her bed with a pillow, trying to convince herself that she didn’t smell his scent on the linens, and cursing herself for ever bringing him into her most sacred space. Carter had spurred her to do things she’d never considered. He’d motivated her to open up in ways she’d never thought possible.

  “How could it have all been a lie?” Lorraine whispered.

  Her cell phone trilled, startling her from her melancholy stupor. She recognized the number as one that she’d called earlier today. Lorraine forced herself upright. Pushing aside her mother, Carter, the private investigator and every other negative drain on her emotions, she answered the phone.

  “Hello, Mrs. Stanton,” she began with a cheerfulness that was completely opposed to what she was actually feeling inside. “Thank you for returning my call. I have an idea I would like to propose for the patients at Comer Children’s Hospital and the pediatric burn unit at University of Chicago Medical.”

  * * *

  Carter stuffed an extra couple of pairs of boxers into the side compartment of his carry-on, then went into the bathroom to retrieve the toiletry bag that he kept packed. He used to keep it in his car, just in case he found himself spending the night somewhere other than his own home after a long night of clubbing. He remembered the day he’d brought it in from the car, after his second date with Lorraine. After years of playing the field, he’d decided after just two dates with her that his nights of hard partying and casual hookups were over.

  Carter let out a long, eloquent string of curse words as he continued packing. He’d ordered himself not to think about her. If Lorraine wanted to believe the worst about him, that was her choice. It wasn’t up to him to try to change her mind. He had enough issues on his plate; he wouldn’t waste any more of his mental energy thinking about her lack of trust.

  Her complete, wholehearted, revolting lack of trust.

  “Forget about her,” Carter bit out.

  He needed to erase from his mind what she’d come to mean to him over these past three weeks. Carter knew of one sure way to accomplish that.

  He opened the cabinet underneath his sink, grabbed the box of condoms and tossed a handful into his toiletry bag. Best way to get over one girl was to find himself another. Or several. Hell, he’d hook up with half the women in New York if that was what it took to prove that he was over Lorraine.

  A ball of nausea settled like a lead anchor at the sight of the foil packets. Carter emptied everything from the bag onto his counter, plucking the condoms and dumping them in the trash.

  Random sex with random women wouldn’t solve a damn thing. It never had in the past. In fact, it probably had a lot to do with how screwed up he was when it came to relationships.

  “Relationships?” he snorted.

  He didn’t do relationships. He didn’t even know how. These past three weeks with Lorraine had been the closest thing he’d ever experienced to a real relationship, and it had all just blown up in his face.

  It was time he face the inevitable. He was thirty years old, and like his father, he was well on his way to living a life filled with one-night stands separated by stretches of long, lonely days.

  Carter sat on the rim of his tub and cradled his head in his hands.

  He didn’t want to follow in his father’s footsteps. He needed more. After that morsel of happiness he’d found with Lorraine, Carter had quickly begun to crave the taste of it. He wanted to savor that feeling every day for the rest of his life.

  Like a fool, he’d allowed himself to picture a future with her. Finally, he’d begun to see himself as more than just the bastard Drayson grandson, more than the black sheep who was merely tolerated by the rest of the family. When Lorraine looked at him with those soulful brown eyes, he saw reflected in them the man he’d always hoped he could one day become. He saw a man who deserved the love of a good woman.

  But she didn’t love him. Carter refused to believe that she could love him yet believe him capable of something as heinous as colluding with that bastard who’d blackmailed her.

  “Forget about her,” Carter said with more force. This time, he meant it.

  He grabbed his phone from the bathroom counter and called Malik.

  “Hey, man,” Malik answered.

  “Do you have everything you need?” Carter asked him.

  Carter had only been responsible for one specialty cake order for this weekend, which he’d finished decorating earlier this morning. But he always had contingencies in place just in case any of his customers needed an emergency cake.

  “I’ve got a handle on everything,” Malik answered. “Although I still don’t think you should get on that plane.”

  He’d been over this with Malik, and frankly, he was tired of hearing his best friend’s opinion.

  “I’m not discussing this again,” he said. “I have an eight-thirty return flight scheduled out of JFK for tomorrow night. Text me if anything pops up that needs my attention.”

  “So, you’re worried about the place falling apart with you gone for one day? How can you justify leaving forever?”

  That feeling of nausea climbed up his throat again. Carter tamped it down, refusing to succumb to the guilt that had been eating away at him from the moment he’d first entertained talks with Robinson Restaurants.

  “I’ll talk to you when I get back,” he said, then disconnected the call before Malik had a chance to respond.

  He wasn’t doing this to hurt Lillian’s. He was doing thi
s to help himself. He was done being underappreciated, sacrificing his own career without getting anything in return. It was time that he put himself first. It was time for a fresh start.

  New York would be that fresh start.

  Carter repacked his toiletry bag, leaving the discarded condoms in the garbage. He dropped the toiletry bag into the carry-on, turned off all the lights in his condo and headed out the door.

  Chapter 16

  Carter tapped a nervous rhythm on the crisp white linen as his eyes roamed over the tasteful, yet understated decor of Robinson Restaurants’s flagship location in Midtown Manhattan. From what he’d read, the proprietor, Grant Robinson, believed in keeping his restaurants simple and elegant, because the food spoke for itself.

  And he wanted Carter’s desserts to become a part of that proud tradition. It was humbling. And exciting. And just a bit overwhelming.

  It wasn’t until he was strapping himself into his seat on the airplane at O’Hare that the reality of what he would face had dawned on him. His cakes would have to stand on their own. They would no longer be backed by the reputation Lillian’s had built.

  “Carter?”

  He popped up from his seat and turned to face the man holding out his hand.

  The man introduced himself. “Grant Robinson.”

  “Carter Drayson,” he said, shaking Grant’s hand. He was immediately taken aback. Something about Grant Robinson’s green eyes looked eerily familiar.

  “How was the flight from Chicago?” Grant asked as he unbuttoned the single closure on his jacket and took the seat across from Carter.

  “Quick and easy,” Carter answered.

  “I guess that’s a good thing. I’m sure you’ll be taking frequent trips back home to visit family. Everyone still lives around that Drayson Estate in Glenville Heights, right?” he asked with a smile.

  Carter’s head popped back with shock. He’d seen Grant Robinson’s dimpled smile before. Something downright crazy was going on here.

  “Carter?”

  Dammit, he had to pull it together. He was blowing the hell out of this interview.

  “Uh, I’m sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “Yes, all of my family is back in Chicago. How do you know about my family’s estate?”

  A ghost of a grin traced across Grant’s lips. “I didn’t mention this in any of our previous conversations, but I went to college with your cousin Shari.”

  Comprehension nearly knocked Carter out of his chair.

  That was where he’d seen that smile and those green eyes.

  Andre.

  This man looked exactly like his cousin Shari’s four-year-old son.

  Carter reached for the glass of water the waitress had set before him and downed half of it in one gulp. “So, you knew Shari back in the day, huh?” he asked.

  Grant nodded. “But enough about that. Why don’t we get to the reason you’re really here? As I’ve mentioned in our previous phone conversations, I think someone with your skill set and experience would be an excellent addition to Robinson Restaurants.”

  As the man imparted all the ways in which Carter and Robinson Restaurants were a perfect fit, Carter could only think about the many instances he’d sensed something deep and dark lurking behind Shari’s usually bright smile. His cousin had been keeping this secret from the world, and certainly from Andre’s father.

  Carter shook his head to clear it. He pushed aside Shari’s dilemma and concentrated on what Grant Robinson was saying.

  “Lillian’s has a reputation for creating some of the best baked goods in the entire state of Illinois. I know that you have had much to do with the bakery garnering that reputation in the last few years.”

  Carter let out a self-deprecating laugh. “I can’t take that much credit,” he said. “My grandmother is the one who built the business. Much of what I know, I learned from her. Culinary school just helped me to hone what she’d taught all of us while growing up in the bakery.”

  “She taught you well. I’m sure she’s very proud of the entire Drayson clan.”

  Carter pulled in a deep breath. “Yes. She is.”

  And his leaving would undoubtedly break his grandmother’s heart.

  “So, what do you say, Carter? Have I convinced you to take what you’ve learned at Lillian’s and bring it to the Big Apple?”

  Carter fidgeted with the silverware at his place setting. He picked up his water glass, took a sip, set it down and then picked it up again. He was stalling.

  But not anymore.

  He looked Grant Robinson in the eye. “When would I have to start?”

  * * *

  Carter pulled into his parking spot at his condo, but instead of getting out of the car, he sat behind the wheel and stared straight ahead at the concrete wall. He’d been nursing the tight ache in his chest since the moment he’d concluded his phone call with Grant Robinson over an hour ago—a phone call he’d made after leaving his grandparents’ home.

  He’d made up his mind while still sitting across the table from Robinson back at his restaurant last Saturday night, yet for an entire week Carter had weighed the pros and cons, debated, questioning whether the choice he’d made was the right one.

  In the end, Carter knew he’d chosen the only option that could truly make him happy.

  It was done. Decision made. It was time for him to stop lamenting over it and start on the path forward.

  He got out of the car. Carter opted for the stairs up to his apartment. He stopped short when he rounded the corner and spotted a figure standing in front of his door.

  “Lorraine?”

  She let out a yelp and turned, clutching her chest with her free hand. “Goodness, Carter. You scared me.”

  “What are you doing here?” Carter checked his watch. “It’s after eleven o’clock.”

  He walked the rest of the way to the door, but stopped a couple of feet away from her.

  “I went looking for you at the bakery today. Your friend Malik said that you were visiting your grandparents, letting them know your decision regarding the job in New York. I decided to wait for you.”

  “What do you want?” Carter asked, trying to ignore the ache that settled in his gut just at the sight of her. It had only been a week since he’d last seen her, yet it felt as if it had been a year.

  “May I...?” She paused for a moment. “May I come in?”

  Despite the quiet confidence in her voice, there was a vulnerability clouding her eyes that struck his chest with the force of a mallet. He had to remind himself that he hadn’t done anything wrong here.

  Carter stared at her for several moments. He didn’t trust himself to move. If he did, he wouldn’t be able to fight this compulsion to assuage the hurt that was so evident in her once bright eyes. He wanted to take her into his arms and wrap them around her; instead, he put one of his hands in his pocket and used the other to open the door to his condo.

  For a second, Carter contemplated closing the door behind him. It would be easier all around if she just went home. But she’d made the effort to come here. The least he could do was hear her out.

  With a quick nod, he gestured for her to come in. She didn’t look at him as she entered the apartment, and once inside, she walked over to the far side of the kitchen island, as if she needed to put some distance between them.

  It pissed him off.

  “Do you think I would actually put a hand on you?” Carter bit out.

  “No.” She shook her head. “No, of course not, Carter. I know you would never hurt me.”

  “Really? It sounds as if you’ve changed your tune since the last time we talked.”

  “Perhaps I deserve that,” she said. She straightened her shoulders, as if shoring up her courage. “I had several reasons for wanting to see you. I’m asking that you hear me out.”

  “I can’t make any promises. Though you probably wouldn’t believe any promise I made anyway.”

  The hurt that flashed across her face made Carter instantly
want to take back his words. She hadn’t come in hurling more accusations. There was no justification for his cruelty toward her.

  Despite his unwarranted callousness, Lorraine continued in that same poised, self-assured manner.

  “First, I wanted to apologize for my mother’s actions. She saw nothing wrong with hiring that private investigator, but it wasn’t right.”

  “Yet you still believe everything he had to say.”

  “Second,” she continued as if he’d never spoken, “I want to apologize for jumping to conclusions after reading his report. It was only later that I realized that picture was taken over a decade ago, five years before I ever met Broderick. You had already left college by that time. You once told me that you’d given up the fraternity life a long time ago, so it isn’t unreasonable to deduce that you did not keep in touch with people from the fraternity.”

  That thought hadn’t even occurred to him.

  “If we had been in a court of law, everything that investigator brought forth would have been considered circumstantial evidence,” Lorraine continued. “I allowed the things I’d read to cloud my judgment, but I now realize that I should not have left without first discussing it with you.”

  Carter felt a tiny spark of hope blossom in his chest and cursed himself for yielding even that small amount. Her apology wasn’t enough to erase what she’d done to him when she’d pulled out that picture and accused him of duplicity. She’d devastated him. How did he know she wouldn’t do it again the next time her mother sought to “protect” her?

  “Those are only words, Lorraine.”

  “Yes, they are,” she said. “Words are all I can offer. I was wrong, and I know that I hurt you. I’m sorry for that. I hope you can accept my apology.”

  He folded his arms across his chest. “What if I can’t?”

  She flinched, breaking eye contact for a moment.

  “That is...understandable,” she said in a more subdued tone. She pulled in a shaky breath. “There was one more reason for my visit. I wanted to thank you.”